We've decided to euthanize Snickers on Tuesday at 5:30. She has peed in the house several times in the past few days. She's down to 28 pounds (from her typical weight of 55, which itself was on the thin side) and she has a really hard time eating. She is still mobile, but very slow and fairly stiff. She is responsive to us, and of course, that's the hardest part. But I worry that she might fall ill during the night and we don't hear her, or it happens while we're at work and we're not home. So I guess I'm preventing my friend from a potentially agonizing death. On the other hand, she doesn't seem in pain now. Part of me feels guilty because it was her peeing in the house that has made us decide to do this now. Is it just because we are lazy and don't want our house to smell like pee? It is for our convenience?
And Molly said she wants to be there. I hope that's not a wrong decision. Of course, if she changes her mind and wants to stay in the waiting room or the car or anything, one of us will be there with her and won't make her stay if she doesn't want to. But what if she begs us not to do it? How heartbreaking.
I was in the same position with my cat, Amalthea. She was in her 20s, very thin, barely able to eat and peeing everywhere. She was on maintenance antibiotics for bladder infections. She seemed content, but with the advent of one more infection, it just felt like it was time. Yes, you feel guilty and selfish, but peeing isn't why you're doing this. It's just a final symptom that told you it's time.
ReplyDeleteMy mother took Amalthea to the vet, but I was with another of our cats during the euthanization process, and it was sad but not too scary. The vet gave two injections; the first caused Dempsey to vomit which was a little alarming, but the vet said it was normal. The drug caused - oh, I don't know exactly - paralysis? relaxation and calm? Dempsey stopped moving and the vet said many people choose to be present to that point, then leave. I stayed for the second injection, and it was obvious when Dempsey was no longer "there." I don't think it will be too scary for Molly, but a preparatory discussion about why this is the right choice might be in order, if you haven't already talked about it. If she understands that this is a kindness you are giving Snickers, she may be less likely to ask you not to do it.
I'm so sorry that you're faced with this. For all of the joy that animals give us, there is terrible sorrow as well.